PATTERNS

I wish I had money to invest. I would create a scarves line or something like that. I really want to do something concrete to find my way, to be able to say: YES I GOT IT.
I don't want to "arrive", we never arrive but I want to get A fucking step just to say: "Hey bitches I am 30 but I did something cool in my life."
I really dislike most of youtubers, fashion icons (that I really don't understand their task) and all that instagram profiles that WHAT THE HELL, how can they count so many followers?! 
WHO ARE THEM? Please, reveal me their secret. Do they pay?! Maybe I am not cool enough but after all I don't think I'm worth it less then them. Or maybe yes. Or maybe it is just my envy which is talking for me. Mh, nope, I am not that kind of person. Envy is not in my blood so I just probably wanna understand where MY problem is.
I like describing myself as a misunderstood person because it is more or less true.
When I started my route talking about hijabers and islamic fashion I knew it might be hard for me to be understood or followed...but I didn't imagine it was so hard.
I always look for the right moment to invest and trust me, I spent a lot of money for nothing thinking it was the right moment - the right accessory - the right bla bla bla.
That's why I decided to avoid the creation of T-shirts. I thought my graphics work quite good but what people prefered were the basic graphics I created with bottles of parfume and Shisha. But it was not the public I wanted to get in touch with. I didn't want to be followed by the pretty girl who likes flowers, pink stuffs and plushes.
I need someone rude as I am!!! 
Arg, this makes me feel really depressed. Sometimes I feel so bad you can't even believe it, but here I am with new ideas, new inspiration, trying again and again because I have faith and faith will help me. Can you understand my feelings? In God, Luck and Faith I trust!